I enjoyed reading The Making of a Leader by Dr. J. Robert Clinton. I would guess that most seminarians going into the ministry do not think in stages of leadership development. The best of us are eager to go forth and claim the world for Jesus. We may know that Billy Graham was a preacher of national renown by age thirty, or that Bill Hybels pastored a mega-church at that same age. There may be exceptional men and women of God who blossom at an early age, but we must understand that most Christian leaders move up the leadership ladder one rung at a time. After reading the Clinton book earlier in the semester, I wrote one term paper on the Apostle Paul for a New Testament class. I wrote another paper for a class on Greek Orthodoxy about Saint John Chrysostom, the celebrated archbishop of Constantinople. As I read their biographies I was startled to see how well their lives fit the stages outlined by Clinton (Clinton, p 44). Below is a chart showing six stages in the lives of Paul and Chrysostom:

Phase I. Sovereign Foundations [Birth to 1971]
I grew up in a church-going family. There has not been a time when God has not been a “player” in my life. My early years were filled with Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. I was baptized at ten while at Church Summer Camp. I was often a leader in youth activities because I was bigger and brighter than many of my peers. Although, I knew all the right things to say and was a well-behaved teen-ager, my commitment to Christ was shallow. After arriving in college 1968, the sense of freedom was overwhelming. Sometimes during my freshman year I attended church services, but only to meet girls. Returning to college in 1969, I brought with me a bad attitude and a bad haircut. We called ourselves “freaks” and we intentionally made ourselves freaky to the outside world. I lead anti-war marches and spoke to hundreds at some rallies. But God had laid his sovereign foundations in my heart. The hymns that I sang religiously in church were planted in my soul and would whisper to me in times of desperate need. In philosophy classes, others would bash Christianity. I would raise my voice and defend the Christ that I chose not to follow. I count it a miracle that I survived 1969 and 1970 as I followed that unholy trinity of “drugs, sex and rock & roll”. I could have easily ended up in jail, in a psych ward, or maybe dead. I knew that my parents and others were praying for me, because I felt the gravity of those prayers pulling me back toward God.

Phase II. Inner-Life Growth [1972-1975]
My life changed in 1971 when I spent time with my brother and parents in Washington State. My dad coaxed me to attend a charismatic crusade held by an evangelist named George Otis. (He was the one that led Pat Boone to the Lord). On August 23, I repented my rebellious life and turned it all over to Jesus Christ. I haven’t looked back. During my senior year in college, I was a Jesus Freak. The long hair and ragged clothes remained, but the inner-life had changed. I was leader in a Christian house for students and published a Jesus newspaper called The Door. I had more friends than ever before. My life was at a crossroads after college graduation. I had a teaching position in view, but I had a low draft number (95) and was therefore draft bait. I had also applied for the Peace Corps. Within one week in July, I was offered a high school teaching position, then I received a draft notice, then I was accepted into the Peace Corps; talk about high, then low, then high. I could not teach because the army had priority, and by entering the Peace Corps I deferred by military service. And so I went to Korea in October. I view these two years as the hinge event of my life. I grew spiritually and I kept a journal everyday of my sojourn in Korea. I felt checks of integrity, obedience, word. Of course I also met and married the most wonderful woman in the world. I joke with Kim today that I had to travel half-way around the world the find the right woman for me. We returned to America in 1974 and my older son, Zachary, was born in 1975. God was blessing me greater than I could have imagined but this was tough time to find work. I heard God’s call to be a Wickliffe missionary/ translator, but security was not there. With a wife and child, I held back. To the surprise of most who knew me (and to myself), I joined the U.S. Army as an officer.

Phase III. Ministry Maturing [1976 - 1998]
The next two decades seemed to zoom by. I was commissioned a lieutenant in 1976 and the next thing I know, I am at my own retirement party in 1998. I was on active duty in Missouri, reserve duty in Oregon, active duty again in Wisconsin and California. During much of this time, I was a commander in uniform and a deacon in church. The military was a secure place to bide time, but the ministry always to beckoned me. In 1984, I had just received by PhD from the University of Oregon. I was seeking a job as principal in a Christian School somewhere in the Northwest. After several interviews, nothing seemed to work out. My heart seemed to pull me toward full-time ministry, but my need for a secure position won out and I re-entered the Army as an Evaluation Officer. The military was always good to me, but I felt out of place. I experienced a succession of ministry positions moving from place to place and church to church. I was a Sunday School teacher for fifth graders (hardest job I ever had). I worked with Bible quizzers, helping them to memorize verses. I was deacon at three churches and taught adult Bible classes. God was blessing me during this time. I experienced ministry, discovered a gift for teaching, and increased the use and effectiveness of that gift. In 1996, my younger son – Simon Peter – went off to college. Kim and I found ourselves in an empty nest. She had a comfortable position at San Francisco State University. After leaving the Army, I worked a patchwork of jobs in a few different colleges. In 1998, Kim went to Rwanda with a group of Korean missionaries. She returned from Africa flaming for the Lord. She encouraged me to pursue a ministry. With her encouragement and our economic situation under control, this reluctant Christian decided it was time to get serious with God.

Phase IV. Life Maturing [1998 to present]
In 1998, I began a ministry at the Salvation Army Korea Corps in San Francisco. I mentored an intrepid group of husbands with Korean wives. We studied scripture while Koreans were in worship. In 1999, I decided to give GGBTS a try. I only intended to take a class or two. This “class or two” grew into an MATS degree and now my sights are on an MDiv. My only regret about attending seminary is that I wish I would have begun 20 years earlier. I tell people that if you subtract my 22 years in the military, then I am exactly the right age for the seminary – 30 years old. In line with The Making of a Leader, GGBTS is giving me the opportunity to identify my gift-mix and develop a gift-cluster. I am really good at a few things, mediocre at most, but miserable as a singer. When Kim returned from Africa in 1998, I promised her that if she were ever to go again, I would join her. In 2001, we went together on a short-term mission to Rwanda. I was the only non-Korean in a group of 84 missionaries. God blessed both me and my wife. It was a life-transforming experience. I discovered for the first time that I do indeed have a gift of preaching. At least, that is what many people are telling me. Preaching is just like teaching but with passion. When I focus on Jesus, I have plenty of passion. This is me preaching in Rwanda, with my interpreter and friend, Frank. I really didn’t know that I could preach until I asked for anointing from the Holy Spirit, walked in front of people and opened my mouth. Phase V. [around the corner?] I am praying for a full-time ministry after graduation from GGBTS. I feel an impetus to make up for lost time. I hope that my gift-mix meshes with the “need-mix” of a church somewhere in the Bay Area. God is preparing me to become His servant that leads. I hope I am worthy. There is no higher calling.

Phase VI. Afterglow [maybe someday, but beyond my horizon of sight]

Toward a personal philosophy of ministry
Since returning from Rwanda, I have been intent on a single message “Keep your eyes on Jesus”. If you ask me why there was genocide in Rwanda, I say because the Christian folk took their eyes off of Jesus. Don’t look to the left. Don’t look to the right. Learn of our Lord. Study his works and his words. Learn of his conviction, his compassion, his integrity, his humility. As I take classes at GGBTS, I realize that our true ethic is aimed at becoming Christ-like, and our leadership to imitate His leadership. This has become my mantra, “Keep your eyes on Jesus”. How can we become leaders? We keep our eyes on Jesus. Why do we fail? We take our eyes off of Jesus. Concluding Remarks Sometimes I feel like Simon Peter in the 21st chapter of John. Jesus says once, “Feed my sheep” (1975). Jesus says the second time “Feed my sheep” (1984). Jesus is saying the third time “Feed my Sheep” (1998). This time I hear you, Lord. Forgive this reluctant minister and help me to keep my eyes on you.

Clinton, J. Robert. The Making of a Leader. (Colorado Springs, Colorado: NavPress, 1988)

Kelly, J.N.D. Golden Mouth. The Story of John Chrysostom - Ascetic, Preacher, Bishop. (London: Gerald Duckworth & Co. Ltd., 1995)

Graham, Billy. Just as I am, the Autobiography of Bill Graham. (NY: Harper Collins, 1997)

Ridderbos, Herman N. (translated by John Richard De Witt). Paul: An Outline of His Theology. (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1975)