Introduction
I am about to finish the class Introduction to Pastoral Care. As I reflect upon this class, I see four aspects to it. First is the book The Christian Pastor by Wayne E. Oates. Second is the book Churches that Make a Difference by Sider, Olson and Unruh. Third is the class room experience itself and fourth is the interaction between this Pastor class and my Supervised Ministry experience.
The Christian Pastor provided me with a thoughtful look at the pastoral task and pastoral methods. I analyzed my own calling by considering the six pastoral identities put forth by Oates: preacher, pastor, priest, teacher, organizer and administer. Of these, I considered my weak identities to be priest and pastor. I can remedy my "priestly" shortcomings by reading about weddings, baptisms, etc. I have purchased a Broadman pastor's manual to learn the basics, as recommended by Dr. McCormick. Also, my performance anxieties are only relieved with the performing of these rituals. The pastoring skills that I lack will take more thoughtful consideration. I am prayerfully working on them.
Churches that Make a Difference provided me with the inspiration to reach the wider community outside of our church congregation. I work closely with the people who make up our local church. I am also in weekly contact with my ministry friends in Africa. I really do need to think more about the middle people in the Marin county community. In reference to Acts 1:8, I am OK with my own Jerusalem and with the uttermost parts of the earth, but I am neglecting Judea and Samara. The "holistic" ministry posited by the authors encourages me to look at the larger local community. This past Thanksgiving morning, my son and I delivered turkey meals in the Tenderloin from the Salvation Army Harbor Light center in San Francisco. I am glad to maintain my association with my Salvation Army friends.
My classroom experience includes lecture/note-taking, classroom discussion, and my research paper collaboration. This Pastoral Care class complements the Supervised Ministry class that I am now taking. I have discussed some of the pastor class ideas with my mentor supervisor (Barry Stricker) and I am thinking of ways to make my ministry more holistic. A component of the Supervised Ministry class is to keep a personal journal. Some of the pastor class notes and discussion appear in the lines of this journal. There is a synergy between the two classes. I will now look at the six possible learning outcomes as suggested in the syllabus:
Learning Outcomes
Enhanced skills in pastoral care
Classroom curriculum is generally designed to provide "skills and knowledge". It seems to me that this class was set up to provide knowledge rather than enhance skills. It might be appropriate that during the course of the semester the professor require a visit to a hospital, home, and possibly jail; then we could write a contact report about it. I would have liked to have done that. I was fortunate in that my supervised ministry is running concurrent to this class. Part of my covenant is to carry out pastoral duties, so I have visited the Tamalpias retirement home in Corte Madera, San Quentin prison, and a person returned from the hospital (Clayton Harrop). In each of these visits, I did use information that I gleaned from lectures and from the two texts. I do believe that my skill in pastoral care has been enhanced by this class. Although my skill has improved, I realize that I still have a long way to go. I am a good doctor, but I must improve my bedside manner.
Increased understanding and involvement in pastoral care responsibilities
I believe that my understanding of pastoral responsibilities has improved. With the class professor, I am convinced that the single most important identity of the ordained person is to pastor his/her flock. Preaching is important. In fact, I believe that preaching is primary to bringing new people into the church, but pastoring is primary to keeping people inside the congregation. Preaching brings them in the front door, but pastoring keeps them from leaving through the back door. Preaching is one-to-many, pastoring is one-to-one. My life trajectory is leading me into full-time ministry. God has shown me grace and I have been preparing my soul for the pastoral challenge. I am becoming more involved with people in the church. I am teaching a Bible School class with the regulars all being 10 to 20 years my senior. One man is 94 years old. I am learning how each person is unique and that pre-judgments are harmful. As I dig, each person acquires a rich and profound story. There is no "average" life.
Greater appreciation for the ministry of the pastoral person
I do appreciate the ministry of pastoring. Compared to preaching, it is certainly an ugly duckling. I took a class last year called Introduction to Preaching. In this class we were required to write a report on a great preacher. I reported on Billy Graham. During this current semester, I am taking a class called Introduction to Missions. In this class, I had to write about a great missionary. What would I do in this class, if I had to go the library and find a book about a world-class pastor? Who would be in it? We tend to undervalue pastoring until it is our time of crisis. Then, who cares about the preaching, I am hurting and need help. I do think that the role laid out in scripture for those called to the ministry is PASTOR. The picture of pastor that I see in my head is a shepherd looking after the welfare of his flock.
Ability to interrelate with a broader group of persons, including classmates and parishioners
I did interact in this class and learned. I was part of a triumvirate with Brian and Su. It was the wise professor of this class who said that a person learns more from a counseling session gone bad, than a smooth session. If the same is true for research groups, then this group of three provided me with a good learning experience. We were the three leftovers that did not join any of the other groups. Maybe it is a clue to dysfunction that each of us chose to stick to our pet topic rather than join an existing group. We stuck to our topics through a few meetings. When the time came to knit the topics together into a whole, we were unable to do it on time. I must admit my own failures. My research was on suicide in churches, especially among young people. Our GGBTS library did not have much information about church youth suicide, but the internet had boundless information. I printed out and read through pages of the stuff. I re-worked, re-worded, and combined lists into a result that made sense to me. I finally lost track of what came from where and what was mine. I ended up not giving attribution to anyone outside of a general bibliography. I could have been better prepared myself, but I don't know what could have made the group dynamic better. I do feel like I interacted in class well with both the professor and with classmates. I enjoy the give and play of group discussion. Did this class equip me to interact with parishioners better? I think so, but it's hard to cite examples. I take their concerns more to heart and listen to their words better.
A growing conceptual knowledge concerning pastoral care
I think that more than any other question, this one is absolutely yes. The other questions deal with improved skills, more involvement, and ability to interrelate. How can I fairly measure these in 12 weeks? I certainly do have more conceptual knowledge about pastoring. These are things that stick so far: 1. The four functions of the pastor are healing, sustaining, guiding and reconciling. I have wondered as I visited someone in the hospital if this was a "healing" or "sustaining" visit. When does the former pass to the latter? 2. The four calls are salvation, secret, providential and ecclesiastical. I have meditated upon these four calls as they relate to my life. I am anticipating the last call in June at my ordination. 3. I try to distinguish between stress and burnout. Maybe stress is the building to a super nova (BANG!) and burnout is the resultant dwarf star that gives no light, shrinking until it becomes a black hole that can only take light, but cannot give it. I am fortunate that much of this conceptual knowledge I can immediately apply to supervised ministry situation.
Strengthened my orientation toward the habit of lifelong learning
Right now I am 52 years old. Some of my acquaintances wonder at my mental state for pursuing another "career track" at this season of life. I remind them that this is a calling. As far as a habit of lifelong learning goes, I am already educated beyond my intelligence. I am always eager to learn. More than a habit, I have an addiction to lifelong learning.
Concluding self questions
I have recently been contemplating Acts 8:26-29:
6 And the angel of the Lord spake unto Philip, saying, Arise, and go toward the south unto the way that goeth down from Jerusalem unto Gaza, which is desert. 27 And he arose and went: and, behold, a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians, who had the charge of all her treasure, and had come to Jerusalem for to worship, 28 Was returning, and sitting in his chariot read Esaias the prophet. 29 Then the Spirit said unto Philip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot.
I am viewing my call to be a pastor as a two-part call. I have no doubt of the authenticity of this first part of the call "go to the crossroads and wait". I am now listening intently for the Spirit to tell me the second part "join yourself to that chariot". When will I receive the call? How will I recognize it?
1. Am I a self-directed and a non-dependent learner? Oh yes. Probably to an extreme.
2. Do I relate well with my peers? This is a tricky question. In this classroom setting, some of my classmates are younger than my own children. Are they peers? If so, I admit to some difficulty in relating to body-piercing and hip-hop. But in many of them I do see a pure love of Jesus. And the Jesus in me certainly relates to the Jesus in them. I am probably more comfortable with people in my own baby-boom generation and I think that is the direction my ministry is heading.
3. Can I utilize other students as learning resources and co-planners? In this particular class my group experience was not so good. Maybe I bear some of the responsibility for this. Maybe I pestered Su and Brian too much. During this same semester, I made a joint presentation with four other students in a Missions class and that went just fine. Is there such a thing as "group chemistry"? Because of my personality and history, I do tend to assume the driver's seat on a group project. Most of the time others are comfortable with that. I am still learning when to back off and ride shotgun or even sit in the back.
4. Am I able to give and receive help? It is probably easier for me to give help than to receive help. Maybe that is the personality of a teacher showing through. I do have to listen more and speak less. (But I am so eager!) Whenever I can, I do give help. Whenever appropriate, I do seek help from others.
5. Am I able to comprehend my learning needs and establish excellent learning objectives based upon self-diagnosis? I think that I can do this. I am a good
reflector. My problem is that I am self-diagnosing when I should be doing. After Jesus preaches his sermon on the mount, he says "blessed are you who not only hear these words, but actually do them." I need to be more of a doer. Socrates said that the "unexamined life is not worth living". I wonder if the same holds true for the "over-examined" life.
6. Do I take the initiative with regard to Dr. McCormick, students and others who enter my learning experience? Yes, I am always taking initiatives. Sometimes my initiatives are ill-advised or lack good judgment. I probably raise my hand more than anyone else in the class. That's why I always sit right up front. Often I comment without raising my hand; a regrettable habit. We had a term in the army for people like me: "spring-butt", always standing to ask questions. So please excuse me if I was too much of a spring-butt in this class.
7. Am I able to organize effective methods and strategies to prepare and present the work? I am a very structured person by temperament and training. Maybe this class was a bit too loose for me. Most people cheer when they hear that there are not written exams or term papers. I feel let down. I was a little disappointed with my result on the midterm exam. I understood the answers, but I had a difficult time interpreting the questions. I learned after the fact that a complete answer to the first question "What is pastoring?" could include the four functions: healing, sustaining, reconciling, and counseling. I memorized these functions word for word. I didn't include them anywhere on the exam, because I couldn't see where they fit. I understand that the fault is not in the stars, but in me. The class had too much vagueness and ambiguity for me. That's the way with life for us INTJ types.
8. How well does the student do self and peer evaluation? I am OK with self-evaluation. I am not so comfortable with peer evaluation. For example, I know that Brian was going through some rough waters in his own personal life as were writing our group research paper. How do I factor that in? If the subject to be evaluated is objective right and wrong, I have no trouble in evaluating people. I am uncomfortable in judging motives, effort or spirituality. I agonize sometimes about being fair to others. Everybody has a bad day. Am I getting this person on a bad day?
9. Was the student able to do independent and group study? I can certainly do independent work. Data and I get along very well indeed. I spend a lot of "quality time" just sitting alone at my computer researching. A study group is more complicated. Like a marriage, it can become heaven or the other place. This is the best strategy for a successful group work at GGBTS. Agree quickly to a very rigid framework that clearly defines what each person will be doing. Then give each maximum individual freedom within the area of responsibility. With 15 hours of class load per week, this is the best one can realistically expect. Ideally a group would get together several times before presenting a paper (like preparing for a Christmas church special) but just coordinating calendars twice for ½ hour was a challenge for the three of us.
10. How well was each of the above accomplished? Except for the brief group effort for our research paper, there was no group dynamic in this class other than lecturing and note-taking. I wish there could have been some small group discussion, group presentation, or role playing. I certainly did learn many new things. Some I am applying right now in my supervised ministry. Others I plan to apply later in my ministry.
11. Was I capable of exercising productive leadership? I have been in leadership positions for a long time. The only opportunity that had in this class to display such leadership did not work out well. I showed a little leadership in class. I took the marker on the whiteboard to help form the research groups. In my supervised ministry, I have been leading Bible studies, and group meetings. I am praying that with God's help I will meet the true tests of productive leadership after I am ordained in June. God provided me with this class at the moment that I needed it.
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