Introduction
I am fifty-three years old and finally Sunday is my favorite day of the week. It wasn't always so. Although I have had a longstanding relationship with Jesus Christ, most of my life has been spent keeping Him at arms length. Viewing my spiritual journey in retrospect, I can make out the contours of three cycles - two times when I heard the call to ministry, took a step forward, hesitated and then stepped back again. This third time I am stepping forward. Mine is the testimony of Simon Peter walking with Jesus by the Sea of Galilee. Three times I have heard my Lord ask me, "Chris, do you love me?" Each time I have answered, "Yes, Lord." In reply, Jesus has said, "feed my sheep". After graduating from this seminary in May 2003, I will begin at last to feed His sheep. |
Spiritual Formation Growing up
I have never known a time when God was not in my life. I was raised in church. Among my earliest memories are sitting in a wooden pew next to my parents. This was in the 1950s in Indiana. My mother and father were both of Roman Catholic background, but had recently left the Catholic church and were attending the Church of Christ (Disciples). My father was an elder and we attended faithfully. I remember prayers, I remember communion, I remember hymns and hymn books. I also remember the sermons of Reverend Thickens. He was such a special person. I was sad on the Sunday morning when he announced that he and his family were returning to Australia. For a long time I had been thinking about being baptized by Reverend Thickens, but when I understood that he was moving along, I was determined to make it happen. When he visited our Church camp in the summer of 1960, I walked forward and on the final day and told him I wanted to be baptized. I filled out a little card, but was disappointed that my baptism didn't take place immediately by the lakeside. Instead, I attended a new members class presided over by our new Pastor (George Davis) and was baptized in the church baptistery a few months later.
Along with religious influences in my own church, I also went with my best friend to Vacation Bible School at his Baptist Church. There was nice man teaching about the Bible two summers in a row. I can't even remember his name. I do remember that he cared for me and that he loved the Lord. (As an aside, this last summer I was speaking to a group VBS teachers. They were stressing out about how difficult it would be to handle 100 kids and get across the content to them. That's when I mentioned my VBS teacher. I don't remember any content, any activities, any Bible verses. I just remember that he cared for me and that he loved Jesus. I told the group that this should be their goal and not to be so anxious about content.)
Through junior high and high school, I tagged along to church with my parents. I was an obedient son who never gave my parents any grief. God was close to me, but I never felt a calling to the ministry. I wanted to become a school teacher. During my senior year in high school, I found a girlfriend who was not close to God. For a year or so she was the center of my life. My relationship with this girl fell apart in my first year at Ball State University. For this and other reasons, my faith was shipwreck for a season. It was 1969 and I became a FREEK, taking on all aspects a prodigal son. There were times when I felt my mind oozing out my ears. In these times I remembered the hymns of my youth. At some "far out" parties, my lips might start a silent rendition of "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty ". I figure that I was in church 52 Sundays a year for 17 years. That equals 884 church services, not including many Sunday evenings. At each service I can remember two or three hymns being sung. These imbedded words and music kept my spirit afloat during times when my life was at its lowest ebb.
In 1970 my parents were swept up in the Charismatic Movement. I would come home from college and my dad would talk about praise and about speaking in tongues. In 1971 I returned to the Shepard of my soul. I was at a Charismatic conference in Idaho when I was baptized with the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues. I was transformed from FREEK to JESUS FREEK. I looked pretty much on the outside (long hair, dirty bellbottoms, beads), but my inside was changed. My senior year in college was great. The church service in our Jesus House was very informal: guitars, praise, testimonies, some healings and speaking in tongues. It was great. Our campus youth leader, Gary, was influential in keeping me focused on the Kingdom of God. I felt the moving of the Holy Spirit as we sang, "We are one in the Spirit. We are one in Lord". I was a natural leader for about a dozen young Christians. I was also a regular at a once-a-week house worship. The older couple would move about 30 folding chairs into the living room and we would worship with prayer, praise and testimony. I know that my return to God as prodigal son was brought about by the active involvement of my father, the prayer of my mother, and the constant witness of my younger brother Frank. To each I owe a large spiritual debt. |
Cycle One
After a joyous senior year in college I joined the Peace Corps and found myself in Korea. I suffered some isolation and my faith wavered a bit. In 1973 I met my wife-to-be. Kim and I were married in a small church in Seoul in 1974. We complemented each other and she pulled me back to God. She has been a rock to me ever since. Back in America we became members of a Church of Christ, then of an Assembly of God. My first son was born in 1975. At this time I recall a whisper from Jesus saying, "Feed my sheep". While working night shift at Weyerhaeuser Lumber Mill, I began to memorize scripture. I began with the Gospel of John and memorized about half of the New Testament to the point of recitation. I attended a few meetings for Wycliffe Bible Translators. I was eager to re-capture a peace-corps-like life all over again. I sent off an application and was interviewed. Looking back, I can see how strange this must have looked to my poor wife. I had just rescued her from a third world life and now I wanted to return to a primitive society and bring her along as well as our baby boy? My wife and I could not agree on this course of action, and I did not have the insight to look in related directions. I finally got tired of not finding a teaching position and of working at a crummy lumber mill. In desperation I joined the U.S. Army in 1976. This was my employer of last resort. |
Cycle Two
After a year of moving from training site to training site, we landed at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. We joined a small group of believers that met in a storefront, calling themselves "Agape Chapel". This was charismatic congregation with a powerful piano player. This church folded in a dispute between the pastor and two elders. For a time we attended serves in a military chapel on post. This was a "general Protestant" service lead by the army chaplain. He was a great guy and kept my feet in the Kingdom of God. My second son was dedicated in the chapel. I lead some Sunday School classes in this chapel. It was at Fort Leonard Wood that I received an MEd in Secondary School Administration.
After four years, I left active duty and went to the University of Oregon to pursue my education. While a full-time student at the University of Oregon, we attended a large church called the Willamette Christian Center. This church seated over a thousand at each service. Because of its size, I did not participate much. I volunteered for anything they would offer and ended up teaching a group of 5th graders for a year or so. This was my first and last experience with a "mega-church". I heard the voice again, "Chris, do you love me? Feed my sheep". After receiving a PhD from the U of O, I interviewed for several positions as a Christian School principal. I came so close and it was so frustrating to be one of two final candidates and not get the position. In 1984, the Army invited me back to active duty to fill a juicy position as an Evaluation Officer. My heart was yearning for ministry, but my head pulled me into a predicable well paying job. |
Cycle Three
While stationed at Fort McCoy in Wisconsin we attended an Assembly of God in the small town of Tomah. This church was nice. I liked the idea of generations worshiping together. One family had ten children in the church. I was asked to be an elder and served on the church board for 3 years. Pastor Gast was a good friend and positive influence on my life. I dreaded leaving this cozy church, but the army moved me along in four years. Coming to California in 1988, I lived and worked in the small military community at Fort Baker, tucked under the north span of the Golden Gate Bridge. My family of four attended Trinity Community Church in San Rafael. I soon became an elder in this church. My two sons were involved in youth activities and I was a Bible Quiz coach. I am still friends with Pastor Will Nelken.
In 1992 I left active military service continuing as an Army Reservist. In 1997, I retired completely with 22 years of total military service. When my younger son graduated from High School, my wife and I felt restless at the Assembly of God. I personally was becoming weary and maybe a bit uncomfortable with certain charismatic elements of worship and doctrine. My spiritual life drifted for a while as we checked in and out of a few churches. My job life was also drifting. I cobbled together a livelihood by teaching part-time at a few colleges and by doing some computer consulting. Finally, in 1998 Kim went on a mission with a group of fellow Koreans to the African county of Rwanda. Her summer experience re-ignited her passion for God. When she returned she was compelled to find a church where Christ was preached. We checked out a few churches and felt most comfortable in Tiburon Baptist Church where we remain. Sitting in the pews and listening to the weekly sermons of Barry Stricker, I began to hear that voice for the third time, "Chris, do you love me? Feed my sheep."
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Preparing to feed His Sheep
My initial intent was just to sit in on one seminary class at GGBTS. I wanted to stick my toe in the water before I dived in. The lady in admittance advised me instead to sign up for a degree program. My procrastination caused me to miss the Fall term of 1999, so signing up at the last minute in Spring 2000, I was left with Church Web Site taught by Herb Drake and Pastoral Counseling taught by Dan Boling. I enjoyed the two classes and was content with a slow walk through the MATS program. In the summer of 2001, I traveled with my wife on mission to Rwanda. I discovered that I could preach as well as I could teach. (This was a revelation to me.) I also discovered the joy of living every moment in the will of God. Second-by-second, I had no doubt that every word I said and every gesture I made was in concert with God's will for my life. Can there be a higher calling than proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ to others? I returned from Rwanda with a desire to continue living in God's will. I switched from a MATS to an MDiv program and I haven't looked back. Sunday is now my favorite day of the week because I can stand up in front of other people and share the good news of Jesus. I am now transitioning into full-time ministry praying that every day of my life will become a Sunday. |